Steps to Embrace Self Forgiveness in Addiction Recovery

Self forgiveness in addiction recovery is one of the hardest steps in the rehabilitation process, as it requires accepting one’s own vulnerabilities and past mistakes. It means taking responsibility for one’s actions and their effects on others, showing genuine remorse, and making amends.  Self forgiveness in recovery is a frequent topic in psychotherapy and often […]


Self forgiveness in addiction recovery is one of the hardest steps in the rehabilitation process, as it requires accepting one’s own vulnerabilities and past mistakes. It means taking responsibility for one’s actions and their effects on others, showing genuine remorse, and making amends

Self forgiveness in recovery is a frequent topic in psychotherapy and often a required step in well-established rehabilitation programs (like a 12-step program). There is general advice and strategies recommended for those going through substance abuse rehab in order to achieve self-forgiveness, but for some, self-forgiveness is very difficult to achieve. Seeking support, sometimes in the immediate surroundings and sometimes by professionals, can make all the difference. 

We Level Up Texas has been helping for years those struggling with addiction overcome their substance abuse issues and live a fulfilling life. We understand the challenges of self forgiveness in addiction recovery and can assist you in understanding yourself better and finding the inner strength to forgive yourself.

Understanding Self-Forgiveness

From a psychological perspective, forgiveness is a voluntary and intentional process of changing the feelings and attitudes of those who were wronged toward those who wronged them. Self forgiveness in recovery implies the same change, but the one who was the offender is also the one who needs to forgive. It requires a shift in cognition, affect, and behavior, making it a very challenging process. 

To forgive yourself, you need to feel empathy and compassion for yourself, but for some, this can easily slip into self-pity. Self-pity does not let you move on, as a person feels sorry for themselves instead of taking action to acknowledge their actions and make amends. On the other hand, being compassionate means wanting to help a person overcome their negative experiences and emotions. Compassion in self-forgiveness is the same desire turned inward.

Self forgiveness in addiction recovery, therefore, requires feeling compassion for yourself, understanding yourself, and accepting yourself. Only with self-forgiveness can you move on, really overcome the addiction, and lead a more fulfilling life.

A person lost in thoughts of self forgiveness in addiction recovery.
Self forgiveness in addiction recovery requires understanding and accepting yourself.

The Role of Guilt and Shame in Addiction

When you are finally in the situation of working against your addiction and towards a better life, you will typically experience a variety of emotions that can be overwhelming. More often than not, people face guilt and shame, especially after recognizing their past wrongdoings. Although it is completely natural to feel these emotions, their role in achieving self forgiveness in addiction recovery is to be discussed. 

While guilt can be seen as a functional emotion, as it is related to behavior that can be changed and, therefore, deserves forgiveness, shame is more frequently felt in relation to personality and can trigger a feeling of unworthiness. It makes a person lean into self-blame rather than an acknowledgment of past actions and mistakes. Guilt can aid a feeling of ownership, while shame can push a person away from it, slowing down the process of admitting mistakes and moving from them. A professional can help you distinguish those two and psychotherapy can help you move away from dysfunctional to functional emotions.

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Steps to Achieving Self Forgiveness in Addiction Recovery

Whether you are trying to achieve self forgiveness in recovery on your own or with the help of a professional, there are some steps you ought to take. They are to make self-forgiveness a gradual experience and, with that, ease the process. 

The first step is to recognize and admit your own past wrongdoings. This step also implies understanding the impact of those wrongdoings and how they affected and changed other people´s lives. It´s practically impossible to change your attitude about something you do not fully understand or acknowledge. Understanding comes from reflection, and showing empathy towards yourself ensures nonjudgment and self-forgiveness. 

A useful step is seeking forgiveness from others. You do not need others to forgive you to forgive yourself, but receiving forgiveness from those you wronged can initiate a thought process leading to changes in cognition needed for self forgiveness in addiction recovery. Knowing that those you wronged are able to find compassion to forgive you makes you believe you are worthy of forgiveness. This can also serve as motivation to be compassionate with yourself and practice it regularly. Being kind to yourself can be very challenging once you understand the effects of your past actions, but techniques like the use of positive affirmations or mindfulness can aid you.

Self forgiveness in recovery means letting go of resentment and self-blame. This might be the most difficult part, especially if self-pity occurs. Advice to achieve this includes:

  • radical acceptance (knowing that no matter the outcome, you can’t change the situation), 
  • practicing grounding techniques (e.g., yoga and mindful meditation), 
  • reframing thoughts (looking at an emotion or stressor in a new and positive way), 
  • practicing emotion awareness (fully accepting emotions and allowing yourself to feel them). 

Finally, admitting past mistakes and cultivating self-forgiveness can help one learn from and grow from the experience. Learning from experience is one of the goals of rehab, as it increases the chances of adaptive behavior and decreases the risk of relapse. Personal growth also contributes to living a more fulfilling life once the rehab process is done.

A person making a to-do list.
Self forgiveness in recovery is easier when you follow the steps suggested by recovery experts.

The Role of Support Systems

Having people in your corner is one of the crucial elements of addiction recovery. A strong support system is important for the overall process and can be irreplaceable for self forgiveness in recovery. Support systems come from various places. Ideally, they start at home, with family and friends being there for you. Unfortunately, not everyone can count on this support system.

Some systems are intentionally made, like circles of professionals, including therapists and medical staff, who can support you during our Texas inpatient rehab program. Their support involves everything, from medical assistance in the early stages of rehabilitation to psychotherapeutic help to understand yourself and self-forgive. Relying on an inpatient rehab program comes with other benefits as well, like comfort, supervision, 24/7 assistance, and tailored treatment for each client specifically.

Another added benefit is the buildup of an additional support system in the form of groups and networks. A frequent element of the psychotherapeutic aspect of recovery is support groups that serve as an inspiration and source of different opinions and ideas. We Level Up Texas treatment center also provides long-term support in the form of an Alumni program, helping you stay connected with people who went through similar experiences and who can support you in the long run.

Ryan Zofay forming a circle and hugging friends.

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The Connection Between Self-Forgiveness and Detox Programs

Research shows that self forgiveness in recovery is the key element of addiction recovery. Its role is important from the earliest stages of rehabilitation, including detoxification at our alcohol detox facility in Texas. Being able to forgive yourself shows openness to the rehabilitation process and allows you to release feelings of guilt, shame, and self-blame. This sets the foundation for a lifelong recovery. 

The detox is also a perfect time to initiate the self-forgiveness process. Detoxification cleanses your body from the substance you are addicted to and, with that, clears up the mind, allowing you to look at things nonjudgmentally, understand your past behaviors, and work towards making amends. As you are getting continuous support from the staff, you can count on their assistance to overcome your blockages in self forgiveness in addiction recovery.

Two people hugging.
Self forgiveness in addiction recovery is a mandatory step in any well-structured rehabilitation program.

Addressing Dual Diagnosis and Self-Forgiveness

Facing an addiction while also struggling with mental health conditions poses another type of challenge. Having co-occurring health conditions requires a specific approach to treating them simultaneously with a dual diagnosis treatment. Self forgiveness in addiction recovery can be even more challenging, as a person can struggle to take responsibility for their actions by blaming one condition for the other. 

This just increases the importance of self forgiveness in recovery, as it sets the foundation for working on your issues. It starts with acknowledging your responsibility for addiction development and behaviors related to substance abuse. By taking responsibility, the complex intercorrelation between substance abuse and mental health conditions is somewhat simplified and allows unhindered and effective dual-diagnosis treatment.

Ryan Zofay forming a circle and hugging friends.

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A Few Final Words on Self Forgiveness in Recovery

Acknowledging your own wrongdoings is difficult no matter the situation, but it poses an especially challenging task when recovering from addiction. It´s difficult to be nonjudgmental and manage to show self-compassion without falling into self-pity. Having a support system can help you become and stay sober, but it can also help you achieve self forgiveness in addiction recovery.

Finding a reliable partner among professionals can ease this process and ensure a solid foundation for long-term sobriety. We Level Up Texas can be this sort of partner. Call us for a free consultation and start your recovery journey towards a better life.

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Sources:

Webb, J.R. and Toussaint, L.L. (2017). Self-Forgiveness as a Critical Factor in Addiction and Recovery: A 12-Step Model Perspective. Alcoholism Treatment Quarterly, 36(1), pp.15–31. doi: https://doi.org/10.1080/07347324.2017.1391057.